I remember you…

When I remember you, I think of home. Warm, Familiar, Quiet.
I remember being a child. Innocent. Looking forward to my first kiss. Running down paved roads. Away from nothing. Just us.
I remember being afraid to move on. I remember being full of love. And hope. And day dreams we were too sure were going to happen.
I remember you being so cheesy. Giving me nicknames no one had ever thought up.
I remember our long conversations. The first one was magic, like a symphony of two honest souls. I could have sworn time stood still.
I remember our never ending emails too. Was it weird that we gisted via emails?
I remember you telling me things no one had ever told me.
I remember the places we said we were going to visit together.
I remember the code names we used for things we shouldn’t have been talking about and i remember how i would feign cough because some words were too big for my mouth.
I remember you showing me how to love myself.
I’m in love with Ed now. I didn’t know him till you mentioned him. Now I hear your voice whenever I listen to him. I loved your voice. I still do.
I remember crying. Because i missed you even though you hadn’t left yet. I knew life would happen. And then,
I remember getting tired.
I remember wanting to see you so bad.
I remember forgetting the sound of your laugh.
I remember the selfies we took as you were about to leave. I still have them. Someday i’d delete them. But not now.
I remember not laughing at your goofy videos anymore. I still have them. Somewhere in a box.
I remember replying your messages 12 hours later when I could have replied in 2 seconds.
I remember snapping at you and then hating myself after.
I remember i was beginning to forget all you taught me about love. Life was hard
I remember hurting you. I remember hurting.
I remember my heart being full of love for you. But all it did was choke me
I remember letting go. It was a friday. You didn’t ask why. You only said OK.
I remember i forgot how it felt to run down paved roads. With you. Laughing out tears.
I never forgot you. Never forgot us.
I remember today being the day you turn a year older.
Happy Birthday


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