Because Daily Prompt said to get personal…

  1. Siblings? 4. I’m number 4.
  2. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? Heaven A quiet beach on some lonely island.
  3. 3 things physically close to you: A book by christi paul, a smile mi-fi, a laptop, 2 phones, wait 3?
  4. 1 fact you’ve learned about life: People always leave. Those who promised never to Those who can’t help but to.
  5. 1 weird fact about you: I sleep with my eyes slightly open when i’m tired. I’m always tired.
  6. Phobias? : Cockroaches. People leaving. Farting loudly in public places😟
  7. 3 favs: John Legend. Sad songs. Noodles.
  8. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?: I’m too tired to think biko
  9. What song are you listening to currently? Chasing the sun by Sara Bareilles
  10. Last person you had a deep conversation with: Joseph.
  11. Who are you looking forward to meeting?: Anjola, i can’t even wait – she’d make my entire year💃🏾❤️❤️❤️, (Edited: 4th April: Turns out Anjola is gon be a boy, I’m still as excited though)
  12. Best TV series: One Tree Hill. (i used to be obsessed, i still am)
  13. Would you be entering a relationship this year? Why please? Not even in 2 years #Kidding 😂😂 #NotKidding😑🙄
  14. Is there anything you liked doing but stopped?: I hope not.
  15. What would you have to see to make you emotional/cry?: Pretty much anything, people holding hands, homeless leetu happy kids, 2 goats bleating at each other.
  16. Can you cook? I dun even like kitchen.😢😭😭 Nobody wee marry me *weeps*
  17. Favorite part of your daily routine?: Talking with God.❤️
  18. How old would you be turning on your next birthday?: 21. Someone is getting old.😭😭
  19. Been to the movies in the last 5 days?: Nope. Joseph, sly oshi😒
  20. Are you hot?: A strongly believe so.🙂
  21. Religious? Nah, Spiritual, More like Jesus baby 🙂
  22. Do you have trust issues?: After my last post. Hell yeah!
  23. Values?: Compassion. Serenity. Altruism. Consistency.
  24. Something you need to stop doing?: Ignoring dudes, i just might die single.
  25. What phone do you have? : Tecno J7. Iphone 6s.
  26. Qualities you look for in people?: ‘unobvious’ humor, spontaneity. depth/soulful/notjustanyhow & 23.
  27. Do you ever want to get married?: Mehn, i’m not even sure again.
  28. What do you want to do with your life?: It’s a surprise, you just wait i don’t know😭
  29. Fav movie: A walk to remember. watched it like 10 times, kinda like cried 10 times too.
  30. Temperament: Phlegmatic.
  31. Love at first sight?: Crap! Crap!! Crap!!! Maybe click at first sight, but never love, not even love at 10th sight! But why do i sound angry?
  32. Last time you ran?: Last election oh. When these ungrateful bloody touts wanted to hit me after i gave them my phone. Awon oloshi! I discovered my talent that day.😩🔫
  33. Best friend: you, if you leave a comment 🙂

Bonus: My name is wunmi Akinfemiwa. When i’m nervous, i forget how to pronounce my surname.

You were not bored? 😦



The Psychopath and my bestfriend.

Pre Script: 1. I naturally don’t use curse words. So this once, please, pardon me.😥😥 2. I have quite a number of best friends.🙆

***                      ***                       ***

My hands were shaking.

Anger, No, Rage, was coursing through me.

Coupled with a host of other emotions i couldn’t fit into words.

I just stood there. Against the wall. Totally creeped out. Watching with horror as my best friend narrated the events that had just taken place few hours earlier to me.

Rewind 30 minutes earlier.

I was trying to put together a slide deck on a training i was taking on Saturday. And i was well behind schedule.🙊

My phone rang but not long enough for me to answer. it was Bibi, my best friend. I made a mental note to call her back and went back to preparing my training material.

Almost 10 minutes later, she called back. I picked up this time.

“Wunmi, are you at home?”

“yes, wassup..”i began to answer. wait, there was something in her voice.

“Bibi, are you crying?” i was too confused.😿

She got hysterical. And i sat up straight.😓

“I’m coming to your house. i’d be there in ten minutes, i need you, i’m not fine”

My heart slammed against my chest “what the heck Bibi. Tell me what happened” she hung up.

I called back with shaky hands. She didn’t pick.

I had almost never seen Bibi cry, she was super strong. I was the cry baby of the two of us.😒😒

I flew out of bed. threw on a jean, a top, scarfed my disheveled hair and started racing to the junction.  I thought of everything and nothing. My mind was racing.

I got to the bus stop just as she was stepping off the cab. her eyes were red, she really had been crying, my heart broke, but she wouldn’t talk till we got home.😩😩

We got home and she broke down in hysterical tears as she told me of how she had been molested a few hours ago by a guy she had known for almost 2 years and had somehow become a trusted friend. It was supposed to be a casual hangout but it quickly turned into something entirely different and she didn’t think she’d make it out alive. Thankfully she did. She lived. And she was intact.

I watched as she fell apart before my eyes and all i could say was that she’d be fine as i stroked her head. But deep down i was raging.

Few hours later, her phone rings.

It’s the psychopath. I was mad.

He had the nerve to call? Like what the actual Fuck.

We were both shaking. She from fear. Me from anger.😒

I picked up the phone and i swear, the neighbors could hear my voice.

“why the hell are you calling you bloody bastard. What else do you want?….” i went on to curse his entire generations, the ones alive and the ones to come. (i’m a good christian.😇 You have to believe me.)

And then i heard him say he called to apologize and see if she was fine. My anger was LIT.😠

“Do you want to die ni? What kind of psychopath does that to someone and then calls to see if they’re fine?” With the amount of anger and a bunch of other unhealthy emotions coursing through, it felt like i could kill a lion with my bare hands, never mind that i was scared to death of cockroaches.

I watched as she drifted off to sleep and knew this too shall pass and she would be fine.

Better than fine.

But this wasn’t right.

She was a good person.

Tell me again why bad things happen to good people? 😢😢😭😭

Cause i swear, i couldn’t make sense of this.


Bad things happen in Winter

[Wed 10:25am]: Mail Comes In🔔: All staff would be required to register on this link to attend a conference call with the CEO next friday, 15th, January, 2016.                                                                                                                                                        – HumanResources 😬😧

“Ah, Ki lo tun shele?” exclaimed a colleague (let’s call her the AC (Ah Colleague) for the purpose of this post)

So for some reason, everybody has come to associate a mail from the HR department with a bad Omen, if it’s not announcing a public holiday that everybody already knows about, then it spelt doom. We just don’t like it, not that they’re bad people oh, it’s just the way the world is. Witness?🙋 But that’s not why we’re here. 😏

[Thurs 12:00pm]: AC comes in from lunch: Ehn ehn, guys, i’ve been hearing gists oh.

Everybody, those that were busy and those that were just forming busy, immediately straightens, inching a bit closer.

AC, having gotten the needed attention, reduces her voice “so i heard some people are getting fired this month”

“Jesu!” RCNC (religious colleague with No Chill) exclaims with fear.

“Ahh, what department? Hope not ours” that was PC now (the Paranoid Colleague)

“last last, when they fire all of us, only management and investors would wee run the company into the ground” says the Pessimistic Colleague

“Me i sha know i’m going no where, they need me here” boasts the Overly-confident colleague (OCC), which earns her a scornful stare from every other person.

“Anyways, i’d keep you guys updated” and with that everyone returns back to being/forming busy.

I can only think of one thing.

Winter is Coming.

The next couple of days before the Great Conference call becomes a drag..

Something just isn’t right.

You could feel it in the air.

The regular camaraderie seems to have disappeared, Everyone starts to take work more serious than ever, as if that would stop winter from coming.

Friday Comes. The call is over. And few minutes later,  letters start flying around.

AC was right after all. And so was i.

As i watched a young man, who just got married a few months ago,  step into the little cubicle where the pesky hr lady sat, waiting with a stack of paper, his face looking like death, my heart broke. What would he tell his wife? 😔 what if they were expecting a child (some people have no chill) All the responsibilities. I couldn’t begin to wrap my head around how he must be feeling. I fought Tears. Choi. This life is just too hard 😢😢

“Wunmi” It was AC jolting me from my reverie. “i think your IM just beeped.

I looked at my laptop. Not thinking.

It was the HR lady.

Why was she buzzing me?  We were not friends. 😕


It dawned. 

I never esperrerit.

Winter had come right at me! 😩🔫

P. S: this is fiction. Or not.

Words, The petty ones.

I struggled frantically as i felt the last bit of air being sucked out of my lungs, i was transcending into another realm. I was dying.
I tried to grope for something, anything but there was nothing to hold onto.
My first thoughts were to call out for mum, but the words won’t even form.
I guess this is what death felt like.
I was been carried, no one was around but i was being carried, to a stage, no, more like stand, witness stand.
“What’s happening to me?” my face was wet. I was Alone.
Alone and scared as hell.
In front of me appeared a screen, no not screen, it was too large to be called a screen. More like a window, a window into the world.
“Mum, Stop it!” wait, was that me? Of course it was. I knew my own voice. I stared, disbelieving, as the other me glared at my mother complaining about how she was being so judgmental before storming off.
What had we been arguing about? A boy? The one who broke my heart a few months later? Gosh!
I watched with horror as my mum dropped to the couch trying to hold back tears, to think that she was hurting for me and because of me. All at once.
My stomach dropped to my knees
“I apologized” i muttered in self defense, but deep down i knew i couldn’t fix the hurt my mother felt that day as i screamed in her face.
The next couple of images were of me with a handful of people, close friends, strangers, the taxi driver, the waitress, lovers, classmates, my dog, even my dog, Gosh i was such a pain!
The room began filling with silly one sided statements like, “Nope, it’s your fault that happened” “I didn’t see your name on it” “You should have gotten here first” “You never do it right” “you’re such a pain” and i went on and on.
At this point, i didn’t need to wonder what this was about.
I was being shown each and every argument i had had growing up.
Funny thing, most of them erupted from petty issues that i could have let slide. I watched my other self, willing my legs to hold a little longer,
How i raged when i should have learned Patience.
How i blurted out hateful words when i should have learned Love.
How i handed out judgement when i should have learned Empathy.
I couldn’t have those moments back.
If i had another chance… perhaps that’s what everyone who had come before me thought.
The window dissolved and slowly darkness crept all over, swallowing me.
Was i awakening from this dreadful dream or was i just transcending into my much deserved doom?
I couldn’t tell.